Making Room for Children in Church

A Guide for Parents and Friends of Children

ABC's for Parents and Friends of Children

Arrive in time to find a good place to sit. Sitting near the front will provide younger children with a better view of the sanctuary and they will be able to see “what’s happening.”

Bring quiet toys, books, or coloring pages for preschool and early elementary children.

Clue in children as to what will happen next as the congregation goes through the worship service. Children who can read will want to follow the service in the worship bulletin and find hymns in the Hymnal. Children like to be ready.

Discuss worship at home to prepare children for any departures from the routine of worship, such as a Baptism or other special occasions. Also, make time to answer questions about worship experiences.

Express your gladness at having children in worship. During the Passing of the Peace, or the Welcome Time, be sure to welcome the children near you. Include them in your conversations before and after worship to let them know they belong here.

Free yourself from worry about children’s behavior and be open to receiving their ministry to you.

Children at Worship

Our church family includes a number of families with children. The inclusion of these children in worship is of great importance.

We welcome children to worship by:

• Encouraging grown-ups to bring their children of all ages to the first part of the worship services. We want every child to know s/he is an important and welcomed member of this worshipping community.
• Providing child care for children who are 4 years old and under (on Communion Sundays, grown-ups are encouraged to slip out as the liturgy begins to pick up their children so they can go with their families to receive the elements.
• Encouraging older children to participate in worship as acolytes, readers, etc.
• Providing children’s bulletins based on the texts for the day and having books, crayons, and teddy bears available for quiet activities. (These are located in the narthex).
• Modeling appropriate church behavior for children by teaching them when to sit, when to stand, when to pray, etc.
• Encouraging parents to take their children to the narthex when they get restless and need a break.

The Preschool Child

Adults may question the wisdom of including preschool children in worship. It is true that they sometimes distract those around them and embarrass their parents by their behavior. But, as members of the family, they are needed to complete the circle at God’s Table. (If they are unable to remain quiet for any length of time, we have nurseries available for children who are 4 years and younger).

The preschool child comes to worship with a short attention span, seemingly endless energy, and a growing curiosity about everything. While these attributes may test the patience of adults, there are several things parents can do to make the preschooler’s experience (and everyone else’s!) more relaxed and enjoyable:

• Sit near the front where the child can have a clear view of what is happening.
• Prepare the child for the different parts of worship service, explaining ahead of time special events (e.g., baptism, communion) and answering in a whisper those questions that need a “right now” response.
• Allow the preschooler to bring a favorite stuffed animal, picture books, coloring books, or other quiet toys (or make use of the ones provided in the narthex) to play with when they get bored.
• Encourage as much adult-like behavior as the child can tolerate. Allow children freedom to be active within the limits of the situation, as long as they are not distracting others.

The Elementary Child

The school-aged child brings new abilities to worship: a greater capacity for attentive listening, an increasing ability to read, and the abilities to memorize and organize information.

Parents help the elementary children toward greater participation in worship when they

• Help the child memorize the Lord’s Prayer.
• Review the worship bulletin (this means arriving BEFORE the service starts!) with the child to identify new or difficult words, and preview together those parts where the congregation responds by reading and speaking.
• Invite the child to follow the liturgy in hymnal for Baptisms and Communion services.
• Find hymns in the hymnal and go over the words.
• Talk about the sermon and ask the child what he or she remembers best about it.
• Encourage the child to listen to the sermon for stories, answers to questions, or important thoughts.
• Encourage the child to pick up one of the children’s worship bulletins especially for ages 7 – 12 in the narthex before entering the sanctuary.

Worship and Learning

Worship is one of the basic ways people learn what it means to be Christian. Children learn how to worship by worshipping with the congregation, Sunday after Sunday.

• They learn that they belong to Christ and are welcome in Christ’s church.
• They learn to know the Lord’s Prayer and other parts of the liturgy from memory.
• They build a fund of memorable, shared experiences of Christian community from which they may draw when they are older.
• They hear stories from the Bible read and interpreted, and begin to see Christian worship as a place where God may speak to them.
• They witness the drama of Baptism and Holy Communion as signs of God’s kindness and favor.
• They discover that they are valued as persons, by God and by the people of God, at church.

Bringing children to worship may not always be easy, but it is an essential part of their growth in Christ. The Body of Christ assembled is incomplete when children are absent. We need children here, with us.